last comment B&M: 08/10/07

If You Were A Happy Bunny!

'Great!' - you might think – 'Another person, another site telling me what or what not to do'. To loose weight, to do sports, to eat more healthily,…

This site is not about telling you, or telling you off. It is about motivating you to do something that you want to do, but not dare for whatever reason.

I have a very dear friend and she never seems to be really happy. Although she is smart with a PhD at the age of 30-something she still looks like student. She has a very slim figure with fantastic legs to kill for, but because she loves hiking she basically wears comfy outfits all the time. She actually doesn’t like her figure very much and hides it behind clothes at least one size too big.

She observed my transformation and she could see how the change in clothing boosted my confidence. People’s reactions to my newly gained confidence were very positive and all of a sudden things were falling into place without me doing anything actively for it.

However, when I suggested a few little changes to her, like different kind of fabrics, some more sophisticated/sexy pieces of clothing or different hairdo she thought it to be too superficial. She had this idea that if one wants to stress the 'brains' aspect of the personality one shouldn’t show off the surface as this would distract.

She has a point there. Barby dolls ARE considered stupid. But that was not what I had suggested.

Usually we dress in a certain way because we want to show that we belong to a certain group of people – but sometimes things go wrong and we just don’t get it right. Trinny and Susannah have written a good book about that: ‘What clothes say about you’, and I totally agree with them.

I believe that that happened to my friend. She wanted to signal: 'I’m smart!' To do that she used a very understated dress style. No jewellery, no frills or girly things, no colour. But unfortunately she also chose fabrics and shapes which were lacking any sophistication. All she knew was the clothes she wore as a student - practical and not expensive. Using her outdoor clothes for indoors is cost effective and the materials are very sturdy and last long.

This is a very thrifty approach – Only when you hit an age where you are expected to have reached a managerial position this dress code is not working anymore. The managers who would employ you might believe that you are only interested in your subject, but that you might lack managerial skills. Whether one likes it or not: The dress code on that level is more sophisticated - even more if customer contact is involved.

So I truly believe that her idea of how one should show off certain skills is backfiring. But more importantly: I would have never suggested anything to her if she would have been a happy bunny. But she wasn’t! And that was when I told her the following:

If you were the happiest bunny in the world none of what I'm saying would matter. If somebody is confident in behaviour, posture, and appearance – why change something? But you are NOT the happiest bunny; you don’t even seem to be a happy bunny.

And I want you to be happy.

All I can do is to tell you what impression you are making and how this could affect people’s behaviour towards you. Being liked by others – and you are very much liked – sometimes is not enough. People need to respect you as well. Only then you will be able to grow to your full abilities.

So, if you are happy with your body, yourself and your life, then leave things as they are, whatever others are telling you. The donkey from the 'Little Tale' would tell you the same. But if you aren’t happy and you feel like hitting the brick wall whenever you are attempting something, then you might want to consider thinking about which signals you are sending to others, and take the one or the other advice from this site on board.

Body & Mind

From Strength 2 Freedom
Seasonal Nuisances
Can't cheat the Sandman
The Way We Are
Stupid Hormones
Happy Bunny
Sometimes it's hard

Fables, Poems, Parables
Live and Let Live
Monk and the Traveller
Flying Chicken
A Little Tale

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Iron Ladies
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Head Cold
Health Tips
Meeting the Doctors
Going To The Bathroom

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Copyright 2007
Author: Rika