Confidence & Humour

I have come across something that made me wonder if my interest in bringing Bodybuilding into the mainstream might have to do with a very personal quest. I could just do my own thing and leave it as it is, but no: I have to campaign and try convincing people that joining me would be doing them good. Why on earth is that?

See, I am a Gemini, and I always was interested in a lot of things. It however is one thing to have a lot of interests, and it is another not being able to decide where to focus and hence not really knowing what sort of person one wants to be. I don’t mean that in terms of general goals, I mean that in regard to which image to display. Some women are ladies, some are tomboys, some are mums and some are business women – what am I? Well, I’m not a mum, but I had my broody phase.

When I joined all these social networking sites I realized how quickly one gets branded. On MySpace I am a Bodybuilder and a rather blokish girl, an image which apparently has a certain sex appeal and not just for men; on LinkedIn I wanted to present my writing side but they don’t let me get away without a company name. As soon as I typed BT, that was it! I only get connected with BT people, and mainly IT guys contact me. I am not an IT person for crying out loud, I am a part time secretary and I want to make it as a writer – Help!

Where do I belong? In sport I am a rather good indoor rower as well as a Bodybuilder; I like to dress up and I like to go in combat trousers. However, because my shape is a bit different than the mainstream, people wonder if I should dress up in frills and laces, and if I should wear 5 inch heels, and if I should be interested in Make-up. A sport person is not into make-up, right?

Now I came across something very interesting, actually someone very interesting: Dita von Teese. She is a burlesque dancer and she created herself as this person since she was a teenager. She is always the same, on stage and in private. I admire her for her determination, her openness, her style and finesse. She is not entirely beautiful, but she radiates a confidence which outshines the most beautiful supermodel.

When I read her book and how she came about to be the person she is now, I got really jealous. She knew from teenage age what type of woman she wanted to portrait and went straight for it; and then I started day dreaming and bringing things together and then it occurred to me:

In a way she is restricted. She might be able to walk those heels better than anyone else, and she might always look pristine in her corset laced shape, and thanks to the perfection achieved by this kind of focus she might have become stinking rich by now, but she never gets to feel the fun of getting dirty in the garden and the power of being able to lift the weights I do; and I still can lace up and wear my heels. My hands may look a bit scruffy and my muscles may look a bit antagonistic, but I’d make a decent diva.

We both moved out of the mainstream, and as soon as one dares doing so one gets looked over by some; she for her burlesque and I for my muscles.

And although we both confidently claim that we don’t care; can it be that we are secretly wishing to belong?

Can it be that one is creating tasteful perfection so that she becomes a worthy advocate for making burlesque an accepted art form? And can it be that the other is creating a community for herself in which she will blend in?

Well, could be!

But not really, though! At least not for me; the stronger I get, the less I want to blend in. Confidence comes with control over ones body and of course I would like to see more women finding confidence. Confidence leads to passion and from there to success and back to confidence. Dita is a dancer and always was body conscious. I have been fat and don’t have a musical bone in my body; sport is the only way to achieve a similar effect.

And ultimately the best friend of confidence is humor! Judgmental people I shrug off with laughter.