Influence-Anticipation-Perception-Usage (IAPU)

We all are influenced by others, and not just by what they are telling us directly, but as well by what we observe on them. How they behave and react in interaction with others, in their body language, what they order in restaurants, what books they read, which clothes they wear. We draw conclusions about their likes and dislikes, and when we have to interact with them, then we use these anticipations trying to make the interaction a success.

That’s a natural thing to do, and that’s how our society is working. However, I have identified two groups of people of the two ends of the spectrum of IAPU. Well there may be more groups settled in-between, but they are boring, while those two make perfect specimen for social studies. Interestingly enough they seem to live in some sort of a symbiosis, and it will be an interesting experiment to see what happens when one of them changes behaviour.

An IAPU-servant uses anticipations in their decision making processes when they feel that their actions might affect others people’s lives, without those actively being involved. Basically they fear that other people might become collateral damage of their actions. And the most evolved specimen of that group have a very elaborated system for interpreting data retrieved through observation, and they can smell the mood of other people. Yes, they are empathic in a way that they almost can read minds. They usually are restricting their own wishes and are easily compromising - without being asked to. We are facing a ‘Monica’ personality. Maiden for everything, taking over to get things done, controlling in a ‘wanting to please’ kind of way and ‘always the hostess’.

An IAPU-artist is somebody who uses body language, and a certain unfocused way of phrasing things to bring others who are susceptible for these kinds of signals to take action on their behalf, without having to give specific orders. They may not even be aware of what they are doing. It may be a behaviour that was learned by positive re-enforcement, as it is a very convenient way of getting things done. All it needs is a counterpart able to pick up the subtle signals.  

Eureka! What a coincidence that there are the IAPU-servants to tap into that.

If things go well then it’s a win/win, if things go wrong: ‘Why did you do this? I didn’t ask you to!’ The servant loses out; the artist has a white vest.

But don’t despair – remedy is at hand. Well, sort of!

I think we can agree that the IAPU-artist has little room for change. Either they are doing it deliberately; then they are sneaky and need to be beaten with their own weapons, or they do it innocently; then they don’t know, and unless somebody feels obliged to educate them, they will stay oblivious to the fact that something might be out of balance.

So, it is up to the IAPU-servants to evolve. Firstly they have to find out if they are trapped by the artists, or if they are trapping themselves. They will have to consider that their interpretation skills are not as good as they might think, and that they might be misjudging things once in a while. The quality of their information base needs to be enhanced. Hence: ‘Don’t guess! Ask more questions, for crying out loud!’

If their enquiry shows that as a matter of fact they do live in close proximity to an artist – then they will have to develop a new set of buttons to be pushed. An example:

If someone wants coffee, usually someone says so. An artist might sigh, take off the glasses and tiredly wiping the eyes.  The ‘new response’ would have to be ‘no response’ until artist clearly says: ‘Can I have a coffee, please!’ There might be in-between stages where the artist might sigh while uttering: ‘Ah, coffee would be nice’. The appropriate response to that would be: ’Oh yes please; one for me, too!’

I know, I know: A pain and almost unbearable for the Monica personality, but it needs to be done! Then at least, if artist dies of heart attack, he can’t blame the servant anymore of killing him with an unasked supply of coffee.

And the table has turned: The servant has the white vest and the artist is ... dead!