To Lent or Not To Lent!

I don’t understand Lent!

Well, I understand that it is originated in the religious believe systems.  I understand that it made sense in the old days when food became scarce at the end of winter, when some resourcefulness was important for survival since nobody could know if the winter would be a long one and when the next fresh food would be available. I understand that it was adopted by modern Zeitgeist people and I know what one is supposed to do during lent, but I still don’t understand why I should do it.

What good would it do me to give something up for 40 days?

If I were to give up something that is not good for me like smoking or promiscuity – what’s the point of giving it up for 40 days? I should give it up for good, shouldn’t I? Or, one could do some travelling during lent to compensate for the losses and stock up on duty free cigarettes and make some contacts for the time after…

If it is something fun to give up, like chocolate or promiscuity – why would I want to deprive myself of something nice for 40 days? Why should I make myself miserable for one tenth of the year? Be assured, you don’t want to be around me when I am miserable; nothing good can come out of that.

Let’s take chocolate! Lent time is the ONE time of the year which only can be survived on a chocolate based diet. For the rest of the year I don’t need chocolate, but during this period of time it is an essential asset for survival.

One is fed up with winter, the sun may be shining once in a while, but as soon as one is cheated out of the house by the prospect of some warmth, it’s still freezing cold and windy out there. So we may decide to get fit for summer and start running, keeps one warm in the cold morning mist. A silly treatment for a body only just crawling out of hibernation; chocolate is the only food that can refuel the energy deprived floppy self, and deliver comfort for the underperforming soul. So for the good of my fellow people: giving up chocolate is not an option.

For the rest of it: I don’t smoke anyway, any other food that is fun I have given up already, can’t give up the computer, because that would deprive you of my wonderful articles – can’t let that happen! So the last of my fun resorts is: The telly.

Since I am a bit of an addict this could be an idea. However, I cannot advertise this option.

Have you ever had a look on how the good shows are distributed throughout the year? In summer, when people are holidays and are out and about in nature they are not watching the telly. And hence there are no new productions done for that period which is almost three month long. Since this is a bit of a dry season anyway: Why can’t I take my Lent then?

Then there is the Christmas season which starts some time in October, thus basically right after the summer holidays. That’s when only really cosy things are on and all the old stuff gets repeated, so no new productions done for this time either.

This is two thirds of the year gone by crappy TV. Eventually in spring right in time for Lent is a slot available where people have the time to watch all these wonderful nature documentaries like ‘Yellowstone’ and ‘Natures Great Events’. Can’t let those slip through, not with the new HD screen we now have. And then there are great shows like The Sex Education Show or ‘Grow Your Own Drugs’ from which I got the lovely chicken soup recipe. I can’t let my health go down the drain by missing out on valuable information like that!

And on top of it all: If all of a sudden we would not watch telly anymore during the only entertaining time of the year, we would bring the whole TV business to it’s knees and causing massive job losses in the entertainment industry. We can’t let that happen, especially not in these credit crunch times.

So I have been browsing websites to get inspired for what else I could give up. I found that there is one thing high up on the ranking lists: It’s Porn!

Oh well, I am having my silver anniversary this year: Feel free to take a good guess whether there is more or less porn needed in my life.